GO TELL MOM Ep7 – Doing the Doggie Dance
So I just got back from taking my dogs for the second of their twice-a-day walks. My senior dog is not a fan, especially in summer when it feels like a Turkish bath where I live. But my younger dog LOVES his walks, and always tugs me toward whoever is out and about in our neighborhood. I treasure my furbabies.
When I was a kid, my parents were pretty adamant about not having pets. First of all, Mom took OCD to a whole new level when it came to having a tidy home – and ours was loaded with antiques from the previous (deceased) owner. Mom would not put up with a pet squatting on the oriental rugs in the living room.
Dad grew up on a farm, where my grandparents made it clear that farm animals were not pets, and that farm kids did not have time to care for pets. Dad wouldn’t talk about it, but rumor had it he learned that lesson the hard way when he tried to treat one of the farm animals like a pal.
He did let us get a guinea pig when I was in first grade. I think it was mostly because then guinea pig could stay in a cage. Dad liked building stuff, so the cage was like a guinea pig’s penthouse apartment, complete with stairs and a hamster wheel. My siblings and I all got to name it, so it wound up being named after every superhero we saw on TV. I think there were 25 names, in total. Mom called him Squeaky. Because he squeaked. A lot. And unfortunately, when winter arrived, so did mice, coming after Squeaky’s food. Not a hit with Mom. Next thing we know, Squeaky – and his uber cage – were out at a friend’s farm, where he'd have plenty of room entertaining cows in the winter. And that was the last pet we had in my early childhood.
My parents’ friends had pets. In fact, we’d occasionally get to babysit them. I loved the toy poodle that they’d leave with us when they went on their yearly vacation, or when they visited grandkids. We were expected to put down food and water for Flicka, and take her for walks.
Then on my 13th birthday, a couple of my parents’ friends – for whom I would occasionally babysit – brought me a box for my birthday. When I opened it up, a kitten popped out. I was thrilled. Dad’s friend had to take him down to the basement because he was NOT happy. Mom convinced him to let me have the kitten, saying it would be good for the kids to learn about responsibility. And there would be no piddling on the rug because – litter box. And we were in charge of the litter box.
Petmd.com says adopting a pet that a child can also help take care of can be an enriching experience for your kid. Kids learn both responsibility and empathy.
We watched the kitten grow into a cat, and because we were not versed in pet ownership, watched the cat become a momma. Even got a chance to see the momma cat have kittens…before she ran away. Yeah, microchips weren’t a thing back then, either. Then Mom convinced a friend who had a store on the square to let us put our kittens in the window, and we managed to give them away.
We had a couple of kittens off and on after that, but they mysteriously disappeared after they were spotted digging in the neighbor’s yard. We tried to discourage them, but after one of them was found dead under a tree, Mom said she couldn’t handle it anymore. She also stopped talking to our neighbor.
That’s the tricky thing about pets – getting them to behave, and knowing which type will fit in with your family. PetMD recommends you think about what you, as the parent, can tolerate. If you’re scared of snakes, then chances are, your child will pick up on that, and it will not make it a happy situation for you, your kids and the snake if you get a reptile.
You also need to consider the size of your pet, and whether you have enough space for it. We had a basement for our guinea pig mansion, but if you live in an apartment, you might have limited square footage. So, a great dane would probably not be great fit.
Will your kid even be able to get along with a Great Dane? Different breeds may have different personalities, so make sure your kid and their potential furever friend will be able to bond.
Also think about how long your potential pet will live, and the age of your kids. If you have ten-year-olds, and you get a dog that lives to age 14, there may be a few years there where you will be taking care of Fido until the kid graduates college or trade school and can take over pet responsibilities again.
Look at vet costs and pet oversight. Does your furbaby do fine in the house when everyone’s at work or school? Or will there be pet supervision needed? How often will your new family member need shots? Do they have exotic food needs? My brother’s best friend in high school had a pet snake, and it required a mouse for food every day. The snake eventually landed in a reptile house after the mom of my brother’s pal caught one of the feedings.
You need to know ahead of time if anyone in the family is allergic to certain types of pets, and obviously steer clear of them. There’s nothing more heartbreaking than having to return a furbaby because someone else in the family is having an allergy attack when the pet is around. If you’re allergic to dog hair, there are types of dogs that won’t trigger that allergy. You just have to make sure the family doesn’t fall in love with one who does.
Let me make it clear…I do not believe in making an “oops” when it comes to pet care and ownership. It’s extremely important to know that your kid actually wants a pet and is willing to share in its care. Two-thirds of parents in a Mottpoll.org survey say they have a pet, with 76 percent saying it’s a dog. These are sensitive, living creatures, and generally very loyal. They deserve to be treated with loyalty in return. That means they’re not disposable.
I’ve owned six dogs as an adult, two of whom I’m still blessed to have. These are members of my family, as far as I’m concerned. My ex-husband and I bought our first dog when we were looking for a job nearly three decades ago. We passed a pet shop while we were waiting for resumes to print and fell in love with a tiny Yorkie wrestling with his mat. When we got the job, we went to a breeder to get a second dog to keep the first one company. I highly recommend pairs if you are working and the kids are at school and there are long spaces of time when the dog is alone. Dogs get lonely, too. Six out of ten people who don’t own pets say it’s a hassle to have one, and part of that is making time for it. You don’t get a pet if you don’t plan to love it.
Our dogs were in our life before the kids, and we had to acclimate them to our babies as they came along. One of my favorite photos of our firstborn is him in a baby carrier being guarded by our first dog. That was HIS baby, as far as our pup was concerned. We had friends pay a visit to our newborn, and the ones our pup knew got the waggy tail and the all clear. The others would get a low growl until I told him it was okay, these were friends.
I’d love to say they always bonded, but it really wasn’t the case. Our first two dogs had truly bonded with my ex and me, which made the kids less interested in them than the second set of dogs, who slept in their rooms with them. But the kids still saw them as part of the family. When we moved, the dogs came with us. The kids would have been horrified if we tried to leave them behind. That’s not a great message to give your children. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry says a child who learns to care for an animal, and treat it kindly and patiently, may get invaluable training in learning to treat people the same way.
I get really upset when I hear of someone who just had a baby and suddenly didn’t have room for their furchild. That poor creature is hurt and doesn’t understand why they’re suddenly in a shelter with all these other animals instead of with their family. That’s cruel.
Yes, you should train your pet to be part of the family, and train your child to care for his or her pet. Kids who are too young to know that squeezing an animal is not something you do to a living creature should not be left alone with a pet. Then again, neither should drunk people.
Kids can learn about themselves as well as their furbabies when both are trained together. I’ve seen little kids giggle when they toss a ball and a dog chases it, or they flash a light on the floor and their kitten goes after it. It makes both the furbaby and the child happy. When a child successfully teaches their pet a new trick, it gives them a feeling of accomplishment, and helps create a bond between the kid and the furbaby.
I’d love to tell you what great techniques I use to get my furbabies to do tricks. But unfortunately, I sort of ran out of inspiration after the “chase the toy” trick. They do walk around the neighborhood quite well, and do their business along the way, and they’re trained me to pick it up. I’m not sure what that does for MY self esteem, but it gives them a big doggy grin.
One more thing…pets are not perfect. There are going to be days when they are just as unhappy about your behavior as you are with theirs. On days when I’ve had to stay an hour later than usual, I may come home to a disemboweled throw pillow. One that my youngest pup saw me putting a new cover on two days before.
If I come downstairs later than usual in the morning, my senior dog may have decided he’d let me know he needed to piddle earlier by piddling outside my powder room door. But that’s not a usual occurrence. For either of us.
Yep, they have me very well trained. Don’t be surprised if your furbaby doesn’t do the same for your family.