GO TELL MOM s2e11 Weddings
My daughter and her fiancé plan to marry next spring…and they plan to keep it small and personal. That’s the plan, anyway…who knows what the months will bring in terms of trends?
Martha Stewart says celebrations this year are all about intimate, relaxed gatherings…which kind of fits what my daughter has in mind. Martha also leans toward the seated, relaxed bridal party…and even oysters served in a canoe. Well, it’s Martha, what can you say. She’s also telling us expect the bride to change – and more than once - during the wedding bash. Yep, I changed during mine…only, it was back at the house, after the typical reception, because my family’s tradition was to bring everyone back to the house to relax.
Turns out, we were trend setters – that’s supposedly one of the trends for this year! TheKnot.com says candid cameras are also a new trend – the bridal couples are asking their guests to moonlight as paparazzi, arming them with disposable cameras. Actually, I remember some of my friends doing that – having disposable cameras at the table to take post-wedding photos. TheKnot also says some couples are hiring sketch artists to blend into the crowd and surprise guests with portraits of themselves.
One of the best memories I had of my wedding is when all of our work friends – who had become my friends IRL – and my new husband and I took a group shot together, with everyone laughing. A friend of ours had suggested we sit back during the reception and just watch the crowd for a moment, and realize it was our party. Someone took a picture of it, and that was my favorite wedding photo.
A few years ago, one of our interns was getting married and she was telling us about all the stress she was having over wedding details…the church, the backyard reception, the food, the photographer – whew! We’ve heard some folks do a big backyard potluck, with everyone bringing their favorite family dish (with a recipe card for how to make it.) My friends did that for my bridal shower, and I loved it.
Julianne’s nuptials planning gave me a flashback to my own wedding, and all the coordinating…my future spouse’s big contribution was making reservations for our honeymoon, getting his tux, and helping me choose a band. We’ve had friends who opted for going with school musicians to save money, and they were happy with the results.
I was in charge of my dress, my bridesmaids’ dresses, picking the reception hall and menu, choosing invitations, napkins, favors, flowers, and planning the seating. Mom handled execution of my choices and lined up the limo, the church and the photographer. (Of course, these days you might want to line up a videographer.) She also found a new hotel in the area who would give a break to our guests. Mom was really the general in charge of details, since my fiancé and I lived out of state and the wedding was to be in my hometown. Dad wrote the check – and had to live with my mother’s stress while she was executing. No small surprise that he offered my fiancé money if we’d just elope.
My fiancé did have to worry about the rehearsal dinner – for about the ten minutes it took for him to pick up the phone and call the restaurant my mother recommended.
But what about the rehearsal itself? The trend during my 20s was the bride-to-be carried a “bouquet” made from ribbons from the bridal shower gifts. Hey, it’s easier than figuring out the actual bouquet, and what it’s supposed to match. As for today’s rehearsal dinner…the trend is to use a theme, according to TheKnot. Maybe a murder-mystery dinner, or a bowling alley buffet?
And what about the wedding party? What’s the style for them? According to Reddit, we’re looking at mismatched and floral bridal dresses, and pearls everywhere. My daughter’s already talking about picking out dresses, and she doesn’t mean just hers, or her bridesmaids’ – she talking about picking out my dress as mother-of-the-bride! I thought once I got out of my 20s, I was off the hook when it came to someone telling me how to dress for an occasion. Did I mention our fashion sense runs in totally opposite directions? Except when it comes to flowers – and my girl will let me help her plan that. She goes for daisies, and I love that about her. Simple, kicky, friendly, stress-free.
It makes me think some of the GenZers had it right when they said they were letting A-I handle all the details because it would be less expensive – and less stressful – than dealing with a wedding planner.
The most important part of all of this planning is to remember, it’s the bridal couple’s day – much as friends and family enjoy joining the celebration, the ones who’ll remember it the most are the bride and groom. It’s just a party, people…it should be happy! The best compliment we got – from almost everyone – was that it was the most fun reception they’d ever attended.
Now I’m sharing notes with my friend and colleague, Sheri Waltz.