Go Tell Mom - s4e1 - Balancing Life and Work

GO TELL MOM – BALANCING LIFE AND WORK – SHOWNOTES

Dianna Kelly and Sheri Waltz discuss the pratfalls, pitfalls and positives of making family life and work life work for the better.

On setting priorities - https://southfieldpeds.com/balancing-work-and-familya-guide-for-busy-parents/#:~:text=Strategies%20for%20Balancing%20Work%20and,for%20work%20and%20family%20activities.

On finding hobbies - https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/balance-work-and-family

On the effects of poor work/life balance - https://www.webmd.com/balance/balancing-work-and-family

Transcript

GO TELL MOM s4 e1 – Balancing Life and Work

It’s not always easy to balance your career and your family when you work outside of the home. To make that work-family balance kick in, you need to set clear boundaries to separate professional and personal time. You must define and prioritize your core values and build a strong support system.

Start out by defining your priorities. Southfield Pediatrics suggests you identify what truly matters to you and your family, such as quality time with children, career goals, or personal well-being. Or maybe all three. 

My dad worked for a defense company, but he was an artist at heart, and he liked day trips when we were kids. We’d be sitting at the kitchen table on a Saturday morning, and he’d say, “Let’s go to Maine.” Which was a 90-minute drive from where we lived. He and Mom loved the coast, and we kids were fans of picking up seashells and dancing in the waves, so it was a relatively cheap adventure for us…especially since Mom packed P-B-and-J sandwiches and Dad’s favorite Fritos. 

Some folks would say sports were their big thing, with everyone at practices and games throughout the week.  If everyone’s onboard with that, it can really bond the family and create some great memories…as long as you’re not expected to be on call for work. When my kids were doing team sports, it tended to be stressful, especially since I was the one doing the carting back and forth and heading back to work in between. I didn’t have a lot of balance with work and family life back then. But “balance” isn’t just about family activities done in lockstep.

Jennifer Herrity from Indeed says it’s important to make time for hobbies to relieve stress, whether it's 20 minutes to read a book or an hourlong bike ride after work. Even a few minutes of personal time can improve focus and anxiety. So, when the kids were doing homework and I was actually home, I’d grab a spade and hit the garden and do some planting or trimming or digging. 

Christina Stejskal from Global Communications says achieving and maintaining a balance between work and family life requires time and dedication. You may sometimes commit more time to one thing than the other, but the goal is to find a healthy balance that works best for you.

I hadn’t thought much about this, but she suggests limiting your nonessential activities. You know – checking your personal email, scrolling through social media or the internet. How many times have you been sucked down a TikTok rabbit hole? This can cost you time that could be spent on something that frees up your time to give you that balance…like throwing a load of laundry in the washer so you’re not doing laundry after that game.

Get rid of the electronic leash. When everyone’s home, including you, shut off the phone. It's essential to put boundaries in place on your availability after hours and leave work at the office. Try to avoid checking work emails while you're at home and only respond to anything that can't wait until the next day. I know some folks will listen for any ping of their phone when they’re home, and immediately reply to any question from work. My phone’s on vibrate most of the time. And I don’t allow any pings to puncture my time at home. I need my alone time to recharge my batteries, so I can perform at my best at work.

Webmd.com says if you find yourself working too much, it can lead to overwhelming exhaustion. That can give you limited tolerance – otherwise known at a short fuse. It can also lead to poor sleep and lost time with family and friends. You might feel emotionally distanced from your kids or think you're a poor or ineffective spouse or parent.

It circles back to your priorities and your goals. Take a step back to think about how you’re spending your time and whether your goals are manageable. You’ll feel happier when you can set priorities and get things done. For me, I always feel better when I make a list and check things off. My kids occasionally see it on the fridge when they visit and laugh, because some of those items don’t seem that big, while others are more like month-long tasks. They don’t understand how just seeing a checkmark next to that small item makes me feel like I’m making progress on my list of responsibilities.

WebMD has a list of how to switch from work mode to family mode:

Wind down after work by listening to the radio or a podcast or reading a book. 

Try working out after work to release stress.

Try doing a mindfulness exercise in your car before going to work and when you return home.

Make a hands-free phone call to loved ones on the way home to catch up with them and leave work behind.

Set a routine like changing your clothes when you get home – hey, it worked for Mr. Rogers!  My friend Beverly swears by it. Shedding the work togs, taking a few deep breaths and bringing your attention back to the present.  Me, I take my dogs for a walk as soon as I dump my work bag and purse. Activities like exercise, listening to music or reading help you transition from work to home.

You know, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to work-life balance, so find one that fits your unique situation.